I was listening to a Christian radio station the other day and a pastor came on and challenged the listeners with this question:

Is your kindness conditional?

I had a flashback to the previous morning. I had to get up after only a couple hours of sleep. I had a lot on my mind. I was tired. I was praying for a friend undergoing major surgery. I was getting last minute things ready for my son’s birthday party… and I realized my son needed a haircut. No kid can have a fifth birthday party without a handsome haircut.

It was drizzling and I really just wanted to take a nap. Instead, I loaded up both kids and headed for the hair salon. I promised my boys a treat if they would please, for the love of all things good just cooperate with me for an hour. I parked my car and was unloading the second kid when a man in a pick up truck came flying in the parking lot on two wheels and whizzed into the spot next to us. I gave him one of those “mom” looks and I was not thinking nice things about him or his big truck.

I ushered my kids toward the door and this man jumped out of his truck and ran to get ahead of us in line to get a hair cut. I stopped dead in my tracks, picked my jaw up off the floor and dramatically looked around to see if anyone else had seen how incredibly rude this guy had just been to a tired mom with two little kids. I was in shock. I guess I shouldn’t have been. But I was. Thankfully I didn’t actually say anything out loud.

But in my head… I was beating this guy up. I mean, I had some very ugly things I wanted to say to him in that moment.

I was still mad twelve minutes later as he paid for his haircut and was walking out. He turned and gave us all the head nod and said “have a nice day.” The nerve. I just scrunched up my eye brows and said nothing in return. I couldn’t even muster a polite grin.

Apparently, my kindness is conditional sometimes. It’s easy to love those who love us in return. It’s easy to be kind when someone is kind to us. It seems so elementary but I fail continually at showing kindness unconditionally. I am not always willing to put the needs of others before my own. I teach my children to be kind even when other kids are mean to them. But their own momma can’t even get it right at the hair salon.

I want to be better. My children are watching. They didn’t hear ugly words that day. They were oblivious to that fact that someone cut us in line. But they saw their momma completely ignore someone who greeted us. They heard me sigh loudly as we sat down to wait our turn. I was not a good example that day. I need to be kind, always. The world is watching.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  – Colossians 3:12