Pointing our kids to Jesus when they are afraid

The story  of Jesus calming the storm is a very popular children’s Bible story. This is a wonderful story to teach children about God’s amazing power, even over nature. It has also recently helped me think of a better way to help my own children when they are afraid.

My husband and I are working through some fear issues with our oldest child.

He occasionally has night terrors. I had never experienced anything like them until he started screaming hysterically one night in his sleep. It was awful. When he has these terrors, he shakes uncontrollably, cries out loudly while soaked in sweat and it can last several very long minutes. All I can do is put him on my lap, hold him tight and rock him back and forth until he comes out of it. It’s quite nerve racking to say the least.

He also has the random nightmare and will come wake me up to tell me he’s scared. He’s afraid to go to bed if it’s storming outside. As a cautious, first born (with so many of his momma’s genes), the child is afraid of a lot of things.

At first, my initial response to him was to brush off the thing that is causing his fear. “It’s just a thunderstorm, buddy. It’ll pass over in a few minutes” or “It’s just a dream. It’s not real. You’re fine.”

The problem is, “it’s just” very real to him and in that moment, he’s very afraid.

Instead of brushing off his fear by dismissing the cause, I’ve realized there’s is a better way to help him.

The disciples had been with Jesus for a little while at the time they experienced this storm on the sea. They had listened to his teaching and witnessed his miracles. They knew he was the Christ, the Son of God. But did they really understand who he was? They were in the midst of a furious storm and their boat was sinking. Jesus however, was sleeping. Sleeping! The men didn’t know what else to do, but they knew they had to go wake Jesus up. They knew he could help because they questioned him, “Teacher! Don’t you care that we’re going to die?” (Mark 4:38) However, when Jesus calmed the raging seas, they were amazed. Some translations say they were terrified and they asked, “what kind of man is this?” Interesting.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

We can teach our children to turn to Jesus when they are afraid, even if they don’t yet fully understand who He is.


Instead of dismissing my child’s fear, giving him a quick kiss and tucking him back in for the night… what if I point him to Jesus in those moments? Yes, even at 2am. Even though this is the third time I’ve been up that night. Even when I’m exhausted. It only takes a minute to say, “Let’s pray and ask God to help you not be afraid so you can go back to sleep.” I literally sit and pray aloud over my child and ask the Lord to help calm his fears, ease his mind and allow him to sleep. “Peace. Be Still.” My five year old does not fully understand who Jesus is. He can not fully grasp the omnipotence of his Creator. But he is learning that when he’s afraid, he can call out to his Abba Father for help. We, just like the disciples, may not always “get it.” However, we need the reminder for ourselves sometimes and we can teach our children to “go get Jesus” because he can help us. We can turn to Jesus in our storms because as Jen Wilkin said, “He is a God who can bring order from chaos.” There is power in praying over your children but I’m trying to teach my children that they can pray to God themselves. Mommy and Daddy don’t always have to pray for them. They can call on Jesus when they are afraid because he loves them and He will help them. When we do something often enough, it will eventually become a habit. It should be our automatic response to turn to Jesus when we are afraid or are facing a storm in our life and we feel like our boat is flooding. We can teach our children to respond the same way.


I like how Matthew Henry said it; “Their confidence lay in this, that they had their Master with them; and the ship that has Christ in it, though it may be tossed, cannot sink.”

Encourage One Another

God’s been teaching me some things about encouragement over the last few weeks.

I am not naturally an encourager. I am a perfectionist and I lean more towards pointing out faults than praising others when they need it. I’m not making excuses. And that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be an encourager. It just means I have to make a stronger effort and be intentional about encouraging others.

Recently I went through a period of about two weeks when things were going, oh so wrong. People weren’t cooperating with “my plan.” My children’s behavior was beyond what I thought I could handle. I was overwhelmed, disappointed, frustrated and confused. I was ready to quit everything and run away.

That’s when God strategically put people in my life at that time to encourage me. Some of them knew of the struggles I was dealing with, most of them did not. I was blown away as person after person reached out to me with the sole intention of encouraging me. No strings attached. No ulterior motive. Just to simply and plainly yet powerfully encourage me.

I received a very sweet, random card in the mail with a simple message of, “I’m proud of you. I love you. I’m praying for you.” I got an email from someone full of encouraging words that resonated with my crazy emotions of the day. I received a voice mail one day while I was sitting on the playground bench at preschool. I had to keep myself from crying in front of all the other moms. It was from a friend that I don’t know very well but someone who has met my energetic and exhausting children. She wanted to let me and my husband know that we were doing a really great job with our kids and she could tell we were great parents (although we honestly fail every single day at the godly parenting thing!) She mentioned that our kids were growing up seeing our hearts for Jesus and learning how to serve others. That’s the part that got me. I had literally just had a conversation with my husband the day before about how I wanted to include out kids as much as possible when we serve because I want serving others to be a natural part of our lives and something that they will joyfully do as they get older.

Each of these people felt some kind of prompting from the Holy Spirit to reach out and encourage me. I believe this because of the timeliness and specificity of their messages to me. And they listened to that prompting. They followed through. Each of them took the time and energy required to say or send me an encouraging word.

I want to be more like these friends. I want to be sensitive to the times I need to reach out and send a word of encouragement. I have felt those times before and sometimes I’ve been obedient but other times, I was too busy or distracted to take the time to encourage someone. I also want this to be a way of life. I want to speak words of encouragement all the time. Life is hard and the Christian walk can be tough. We need each other’s encouragement and prayers. Lord, help me be an encouragement to others like so many have been to me.

And let us watch out for one another to provoke love and good works, not neglecting to gather together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging each other, and all the more as you see the day approaching.  – Hebrews 10:24-25