I’ve been reading a lot of books this year. They have all been good and have made me think differently about some things in my life. But I read one book that I just can’t stop thinking about.

I read Brian Dembowczyk’s book, Gospel Centered Kid’s Ministry.

Dembowczyk opens up the book with statistics that stabbed me right in my heart.

“According to LifeWay research, roughly 70 percent of young adults drop out of church.”

“Interestingly, the research also indicates about two-thirds of those dropouts return to the church later on – perhaps when they have kids of their own.”

“Here’s how your kid’s ministry breaks down right now:

20% of your kids will walk away from the church for good.

50% of your kids will leave the church for a season but return later on.

30% of your kids will stay in church. “

So I have spend this year with these numbers weighing really heavy on my heart. I have very young children. My husband and I take our job seriously to disciple them and we know this responsibility rests on our shoulders as their parents. These numbers drove me to my knees in even deeper prayer over my own children, but also for the children I know and love at my church.

I have also begun to think about how the Church does Kid’s Ministry. Are we taking this thing seriously? Thankfully, I can say with certainty that the majority of the kid’s leaders at my own church are serious about their calling to help disciple our children. That is a blessing to me as a parent and also someone that is passionate about kid’s ministry.

I know I’m being very bold in saying this. This is an area where I feel like I’m having to pick up my sword and fight for the souls of these precious children. Not just my children, but every child who walks in the door of our churches. Why? Because as Dembowczyk said, “Failure is not an option.” We have to get this thing right. And it’s a team effort.

It can be hard to keep pressing on when you feel like you’re too young, not educated enough, don’t have enough experience and no one is listening. Others can also say really hurtful things that wound. I feel like those discouraging words are from the Enemy.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12

The Enemy has done what he can to discourage, distract and deter me. But some things are too important to give up on. Some things have eternal impact and should be taken seriously. I can’t give up fighting for what I feel like the Church needs to better focus on.

One thing I’m seeing in churches, is surface level teaching and mostly fun and games. It’s hard to challenge mediocrity. It takes guts. Sometimes I don’t want to do it because I don’t want to lose friends. Sometimes I’m afraid to question anything because people that are more educated and more experienced have spoken down to me. Sometimes those that have been given greater authority and responsibility choose to ignore me.

While I may not have it all right, I’ve heard and observed some things that I believe are worth questioning. I find it helpful to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. It’s easy to get caught up in the details (I’m a detailed person, myself), the work itself or we just get too comfortable. We forget what it feels like to carry the weight on the responsibility the church has to partner with parents and fight for the souls of these children. Are we missing the point, somehow?

I feel like the lingo we use such as “just show up” and “no preparation” and “just love Jesus” and “just love the kids” should be used with caution. Now, I have certainly said these very things myself. I’m not speaking as one who has it all figured out and has authority to speak into these things. I’m speaking as someone who is slowing learning the ropes and I’m speaking from what I’ve learned. Would it be more accurate to say that some kid’s ministry positions are “low prep” instead of “no prep?” I’m suggesting that maybe we give people a better picture of what their role will be when they sign on for kid’s ministry. I feel like every position within kid’s ministry requires some kind of preparation. There are many people who love kid’s ministry, but due to their schedule and life situations, they don’t have hours every week to do the hands on preparation work. Even if you don’t have to prepare a lesson that will be taught or an activity for the kids to do, shouldn’t you at the very least be preparing your mind and your heart? Are we encouraging and facilitating ways for our volunteers to be in serious prayer over our children and our ministries? We are expecting that when workers walk in the doors of our church they will be ready to jump right in and love on these kids?

I’m speaking from at least some experience on this one. I have a minimum of ten things on my to-do list at any given point in time. I have answered 286 questions easily from my own children before I get to church. I have my own personal issues and burdens. But if I make it a point to pray and prepare myself for those times I’m working with children, I find my experience to be vastly different than when I fly in at the last second and am flustered by the time I get to my assigned area. When I ask God to prepare my mind and heart before I go in, I no longer see my assignment as “keeping the youngins alive.” Instead, my eyes are drawn to the child that needs a little tighter hug that day, my heart is filled with compassion for that child I know is dealing with a tough situation at home and I tend to show more grace to that sweet one who is acting out because they aren’t getting any attention at home. God has a way of doing that for me. I begin to see my ministry to these children through His eyes and with a heart that starts to look a little more like His.

I think we say things without really thinking about it. We don’t really mean that the job is not important. We don’t mean that we don’t care. But we do need the spots filled and “no prep” and “easy” are code words to get volunteers to sign up quickly. As long as somebody has it together and has put in the time, energy and prayers, then everyone else can just show up.

I have heard so many times that all you have to do is love Jesus and love kids and you are qualified to serve in kid’s ministry. Yes, for sure. You should love Jesus and love kids if you work in kids ministry. That’s a given. But do you love to teach the kids about Jesus? Do you feel the weight of the responsibility to introduce these kids and lead these kids to their only hope in a savior? Is that where our focus truly is? Are we all really working towards the same goal or are we just focused on crowd control? Or are we just looking at kid’s ministry like it’s own little gig over here in the corner and we just need to get some adults who are willing to babysit for a while?

These are questions I wrestle with in my own heart. But I do believe it’s so much more than just saying let the little children come to me.  Oh yes, Lord. Please let them come! Let them come, so that we can introduce them to Jesus, help them grow in their walk with the Lord, encourage them, speak truth to them, love them deeply and absolutely, have fun! And let us be willing to do the work so that we are ready make this happen.

I’m going to keep pressing on as I strive for excellence in my own service. I’m going to keep fighting. It’s worth it. These kids are worth it. Families are worth it. Eternity with our Savior is worth it!

Someone asked me recently what kind of qualities I want to see in a leader. Of course I rattled off things like humility, decisiveness, being teachable and being approachable. There are so many qualities that great leaders have, but one has really stood out to me over the last couple of weeks.

I have worked and served under many different leaders in many different areas of my life. The ones who have earned the most respect and had the best workers underneath them though… were servant leaders. There’s something about seeing your leader come out of their office, pick up a shovel and get down in the ditch and help you dig that builds a level of respect and trust that is truly admirable.

My oldest just started kindergarten. I had already heard so many great things about the principal at his school. On the first day of school, the principal was standing at the front entrance of the school greeting children and families as they came in. She stands right out there in the afternoons too – not overseeing carpool – but helping run it. She waves cars through the line and opens doors for kids. I’ve seen her standing out in the rain plugging in carpool numbers on her laptop as parents pulled into the school. That is a servant leader, my friends. It would have been so much easier for her to stay warm and dry inside her office and focus on the administrative part of her job. And she would have been totally justified asking others to do the dirty work. But she didn’t do that. She’s not just standing out there with her staff, she’s serving with her staff. She is working the line and seeing firsthand what is involved, what is or is not working and how they can improve. And I guarantee you, she’s got some of the best and hardest working staff in the county. I have thought to myself multiple times, “I want to be like her.”

It seems to me, that if there’s genuine servanthood starting at the top, it will trickle down into every other aspect of the organization. I think this goes for ministry in the church as well as the secular work place. I’ve worked for managers and leaders who sat in their office or stood over my shoulder and barked orders at me about how to do a job they understood very little about. My enthusiasm for my work suffered because of that. I’ve also worked for managers and leaders who came over, put some gloves on and said “show me how I can help.” Those are the leaders that I wanted to work harder and better for. A servant leader is going to make decisions that will benefit the team and help the team be successful. They are not nearly as concerned with self-promotion as they are with the welfare of their team.

There is great benefit that comes from getting a formal education and having that diploma hanging on the wall. Training in leadership and administrative skills is valuable. God can give understanding, discernment and direction through prayer and His word. If you really want perspective though, there’s nothing that can replace getting up out of the office and joining the work of your team. It is hard to respect decisions made for us by someone who has little to no understanding of the work we do and isn’t interested in finding out. Trust is built when we see that our leader has true concern, passion and a desire to move forward and improve the work. We tend to value someone’s opinion or decision more when we see them actively involved in the work. It’s hard to let someone speak into our life or our area of service who is not willing to serve with us.

It’s important for a believer to remember that whether in a secular job or church work, we are ultimately serving God and Him alone. However, a leader who can look past the numbers, the dollar signs and spread sheets and see the people, join the work and offer encouragement… are the leaders that people will follow.  Those are the kind of leaders that people will work hard for and give it their all for every day. That’s the kind of leader I want to work under and the kind of leader I want to learn to become.