As a mom who messes up on the regular, raising kids who mess up on the regular, I am learning a lot about what it actually looks like to preach the gospel to ourselves. Some days it’s easier than others to give myself grace. It’s even harder sometimes to extend grace to my children. Honestly, I often find that it is easier to show them grace when they sin against me. But when I see them sin against others, there is something inside me that wants to pounce on them like Luke Kuechly tackling a running back in the back field.

My oldest kid messed up pretty bad the other day. He knew he messed up. And I have to assume he was feeling some level of guilt because as soon as he got in the car after school, he said, “Mommy, I have to tell you something.” God Bless America. I immediately got that nauseas feeling and knew I wasn’t going to like what he was about to say. He fessed up to making some pretty rotten choices that day that led to someone else getting hurt. I could not believe (actually I did not want to believe) the evil state of his heart that led to saying and doing what he did that day.

In a matter of seven seconds I felt a range of emotions. Embarrassment that I am the mother of a child who could behave this way. Guilt that I haven’t done enough to make him sweeter and kinder. Anger because he knew better than to act this way. The last thing I felt in that moment was forgiveness and grace.

It took me the rest of our short ride home to gain my composure and get to the point where I could think clearly. And I started thinking about how I have been learning so much about how to practically preach the gospel to myself. I knew I had a choice to make. I could yell and scream and stomp my feet in frustration while ignoring the situation. I could punish my kid for the behavior without really getting to the heart of the issue. Or I could sit and have a gospel centered chat with my boy.

By God’s grace, that day I chose the later. While that is certainly not always the case, this crazy mamma actually made the hard but wise choice that day and I’m so glad I did.

I find that it is easy to preach the gospel to my children when we are at church. Or during family Bible reading and prayer time. Or when I’m in a good mood and feel like it. It’s a whole different ball game to preach the gospel to my children in. real. life. hard. situations.

We had a really great conversation about how yes, what he did was wrong (and there are consequences and apologies that needed to happen), BUT… there is a God who loves my kiddo (and all of us) and will extend grace and forgiveness every single time he messes up. There is a God who loves us so much that he was willing to send His son to rescue us. A God who was willing let his son die on a cross as payment for a debt we owed, yet couldn’t pay ourselves. As my pastor says, we have a savior who didn’t just die for us, he died instead of us. That’s what my boy needed to hear that day, and every day.

We had a really sweet time of prayer and my son asked God to forgive him and he prayed for the kid that he had wronged. The next day as I dropped him off at school, he said, “I’ll remember what you said, mommy.” But really, they are not my words. They are God’s words. They are His promises of grace and love and forgiveness no matter how bad we mess up or how many times we get it wrong. I need the gospel every day. My kids need the gospel every day. And I pray that my children learn to run to Jesus in their sin and shame, because it is there that they will find grace and forgiveness.

I loved singing this reminder in church yesterday:

Where sin runs deep Your grace is more
Where grace is found is where You are
And where You are, Lord, I am free
Holiness is Christ in me

(song lyrics by Matt Maher)