As an average American family, we have not suffered much for the cause of Christ in comparison to what many of our brothers and sisters in other parts of the world have. However, I do find myself too easily complaining over the small things I am asked to give up or changes I’m asked to make to be a follower of Jesus Christ.

In the fourteenth chapter of the book of Luke, Jesus turns to a large crowd that had been following him and He says;

Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple. ‘For which of you, wanting to build a tower, doesn’t first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it?’

That sounds inviting, doesn’t it? Sign me up! We can easily misunderstand what this passage is saying. Jesus is not asking us to carry more burdens, for His yoke is easy and his burden is light. (Matthew 11:30) However, this is a call to completely surrender our lives to Christ. When we take up our cross, we are saying we are willing to die to ourselves. That includes our preferences, our comforts and our desires. In this dying to self, we then receive the life, joy and hope that can only come from the Lord. The call to carry our cross may still be costly, but the reward is priceless.

A couple of years ago, my family had a front row seat as we watched some of our close friends answer God’s call to move overseas as missionaries. We encouraged them as they took seminary classes. We prayed with them through the paper work and placement process. We helped them sort and tag all their belongings and hosted the yard sale. I had many conversations with my children about how this family was giving up everything… the American dream, having family and friends close by, and yes, even easy access to treasures like taco seasoning and honey mustard sauce. I explained to my kids that many others could hear the good news of the gospel because of our friends being obedient to God’s call. As the day neared to send this family off on a one-way trip across the ocean, I began to realize how emotionally hard this had been for my own family. My oldest son was losing his best buddy. My husband and I were sending away dear friends. I got emotional one day talking with my friend and she looked at me and said, “You are having to count the cost too, sister.” She was so right. I felt like what it was costing us nothing in comparison to their family, yet it still hurt. It was such a great joy to partner alongside our friends, but it was still hard. This was such a wonderful opportunity to talk with our children about sacrificing for the sake of the gospel.

I try to model that sacrificial lifestyle to my children. Jesus never promised an easy and luxurious life. We must continually choose His way or the world’s way. He asks us to take up our cross daily and follow Him. (Luke 9:23) It is an ongoing conversation with my children as we talk about sacrificing for the sake of the gospel. Our family continues to support and pray for our friends and my children continue to ask questions and watch this family sacrifice daily for the sake of the gospel. I want my children to be willing and ready to give or do whatever the Lord asks of them, no matter cost.  I pray that this journey of sending friends out will help mold my children’s hearts. I also pray that they will see that our obedience ultimately stems from our love and gratitude to God for all he has done for us. (John 14:15, John 14:23)

In this season of raising young children, my service for Christ looks different for me than it looks for my friend. But we believe Jesus paid the ultimate cost when he gave his life for us on the cross. While our sacrifices are often hard, they dim in comparison to what Christ has done for us. We don’t see it as a burden, but rather a joy and an honor to serve Him.

In Romans 12 we are called to be living sacrifices. In the Old Testament, people gave up their livestock as their sacrifices. Our sacrifices today may look more like giving up earthly comforts, possessions or ease. Being a living sacrifice means we willing climb up onto the altar and stay there. We don’t jump back down as soon as life starts to get painful. It is a sacrificial lifestyle that we are to offer as our act of worship. When we make the choice to stay on the altar and die to our own sins and desires, there is life, joy and blessings. When we keep an eternal perspective, it becomes easier for us to sacrifice for the sake of the gospel.

As my children grow up and begin making their faith their own, they will be asked to count the cost of following Jesus. It may cost my sons popularity, it may cost them sitting on the bench because they missed the Sunday morning soccer practice, it may cost them financially or even just cost them simple earthly comforts. My prayer for them is that in every choice and action, they will demonstrate that Jesus is more precious to them than anything else. By God’s strength and grace, I pray they see that same sacrificial spirit and heart of gratitude in me. We have to count the cost of being a disciple of Jesus Christ, but after we do, we will see that following Him is worth far more than anything we can imagine.

When it comes time to choose a curriculum for small groups or to reevaluate the one you are using, it’s a big deal. This should never be a flippant decision where you just “pick one” that looks good or seems easy to use. When we view small groups as a time for discipleship, we don’t see them as a program or babysitting hour. Curriculum is therefore a discipleship tool. Choosing the right one matters.

Our kid’s small groups have a purpose. Ultimately we are striving to make disciples who make disciples. So our end goal is for these kids to grow up and be spiritually mature adults who make disciples. How we get to that end goal matters.

Here are some things that I think are important to consider when choosing curriculum for your small groups:

How does the curriculum teach the Bible?

What kind of hermeneutical viewpoint does this curriculum use to approach scripture? Does it teach the Bible as one big story or separate unrelated stories? Does the curriculum point to scripture or is it merely someone’s opinion of scripture? Is God the main character of each story or do the lesson try to make us the main character? The Bible is about God – who he is, what he is like, what he has done. The Bible is not about us and trying to put ourselves into each story is dangerous territory.

Knowing what the purpose of your group is essential. Is it a women’s group that needs to study a certain topic, is it a group of teens that needs to look at real life issues or do you want to take several years and study the Bible from cover to cover? Do you want lessons that teach lecture style or do you prefer video based or discussion groups? While small groups can have slightly different purposes based on what kind of members are in them, every lesson should still point to Jesus.

Does the curriculum teach the gospel or moralism?

This question gets it’s own section because I see this as a flaw in so many resources. My first grader is learning how to have integrity, responsibility and perseverance at his public school. And that’s not a bad thing. Our kids do need to be taught those things. But the church’s priority should be to teach them the gospel. When our kids begin to have a heart transformation, the good behavior will follow. We need to look at curriculums closely to see if each lesson is simply wrapped up in a nice little moral lesson or if it teaches each story as part of the bigger story of scripture and how to see Jesus in that story. If all we are focused on is good behavior and doing good deeds to make God happy, our kids will miss the gospel altogether. They will not get how the good news affects their heart and life and they will be more likely to leave the faith.

What additional resources does the curriculum offer?

There are so many great resources available that add much value to curriculums. Look to see if there are things available like promotional material, posters and signs, teacher training, additional commentary, parent resources, participant take home resources, blogs, apps and second hour worship material. These things can be very helpful to teachers as they study and learn how to teach the lessons in an age appropriate and gospel-centered way. Parent resources are a great way to partner with parents and help them continue the conversation at home with their kids. Some curriculums even have adult, student and kid studies that line up so that the parents are studying the same lesson each week that their kids are learning. This is a valuable thing to consider and makes it even easier for the parents to follow-up at home during the week with their kids are learning at church at Sundays.

When it comes to the plethora of kids ministry resources that are available, here are some additional questions that I think are important to ask before you choose.

Is the material meant to entertain or disciple?

Do the lessons have a missional focus?

Does it teach feel just good lessons or does it address the hard things in scripture too?

Does it include ideas for all types of learners? 

Meaning, does it include music, active games, hands on projects, fun pictures, interactive dialogue, videos, etc. The material should be engaging for the ages you are teaching and for all kinds of learners. A good mix of low-prep and more involved activities are a great way to appeal to teachers that have different amounts of time and experience.

There are probably many other things to consider when you’re looking at curriculums. Knowing the overall goal of your groups and keeping the end in mind will help you prayerfully determine which curriculum is best for your groups.