Kid’s Ministry

Don’t Discount the Rowdy Kids

~ lindseyfescoe ~ Leave a comment

When you think kids aren’t listening…. they just might be.

I have a bad habit of trying to make my own children sit completely still and quiet when I’m reading them a Bible story or trying to have a serious conversation. Not all children learn best that way. I was one of those children. I needed to constantly be moving something… tapping my foot, shaking my leg or rolling my pencil around in my hand. (Who am I kidding? I’m still like that.) It helped me focus and remember what I was hearing. My dad used to jokingly make fun of me when I was in high school and college. I would be studying for a test and every time I felt like I had a point memorized, I would click my pen. It’s just what I did. It somehow helped my brain remember.

I’ve realized that some children are perfectly capable and willing to sit on the front row and sit still and listen while they are being taught. Other children are fidgeters. They have to be moving and playing with something in their hands. Still others feel the need to do cartwheels while you’re trying to teach them a new song. There is an array of personalities among any given group of children, but it’s easy for teachers to appreciate and favor the kids that are quiet and easy to teach. They sometimes assume those are the kids who are absorbing what is being taught. It takes more effort, energy and creativity to teach those children that can’t sit still or won’t stop talking. Now certainly, sometimes children are making a choice to disobey. There has to be some discernment there for sure. I think as you get to know the children you are teaching, you start to learn their baseline and how best to connect with them.

There is one particular child that I initially drew the wrong conclusion about. I got a bad first impression and I dreaded the next time he showed up for class. I was mostly frustrated with myself because I did not know how to handle him and how best to communicate with him. I was getting easily annoyed by what I considered his lack of respect and attention to the teacher. I made my own judgments in my heart and assumed he was getting nothing out of our teaching time and in the mean time, was distracting the other children.

One day, we had the kids act out the Bible story. The teacher assigned this child the part of Paul. I just knew for sure this child was not going to cooperate and actually act out the correct part. I sat there with a humbled heart and a big smile on my face as I watched this child not only act out his part of the story, but straight up share the Gospel of Jesus Christ with the whole class (without the script!). He had been listening and he did understand. Somewhere along the way… either at home, in life group, at school…. wherever, he had heard. He might have been making paper airplanes or doodling or poking his neighbor, but while he was doing that, he was also listening.

As hard as it is, I think we should keep praising, praising, praising these sweet kiddos when they make good choices. Gently correct the wrong behaviors. But no matter what, keep teaching them God’s word. They are listening. They are absorbing. And in spite of all of our weaknesses and failures as parents and teachers, maybe these kids will grab on to that truth, with God’s grace they will claim it as their own and in His power, share it with others.

Creating an environment of love in Kid’s Ministry

~ lindseyfescoe ~ Leave a comment

I feel like I should clarify before you read any further that I’m really just a nobody when it comes to ministry related things. I have incredibly little experience working in kid’s ministry and I definitely do not have any type of education in any area of ministry. I’ve been volunteering with the kids ministry at my church for only a little while and I’m a mom of two preschool aged kids. That’s all the experience I have. So if you happened to stumble on this blog and are thinking you’re getting some kind of amazing revelation about kid’s ministry… it won’t hurt my feelings at all if you close this page a-to-the-sap. Take this for what it’s worth… these are just my simple observations and gleanings from the small amount of time I’ve been blessed to serve with various children’s activities in the church.

Before I had kids of my own, I mostly served in adult ministries. Then when I had my own children, I suddenly felt the burden of raising up the next generation to be Jesus lovers. I realized that these little tots I was feeding, changing and rocking to sleep are our future leaders. It’s kind of a big deal. I pray very, very often that I will not ruin my kids’ lives. No parent or child is perfect but my goodness, it takes a whole lot of Jesus to steer our children down the right paths in this broken world.

I’ve served in several areas at our church over the last few years. But recently God opened up the door for me to step into an area of preschool ministry. Shortly after, I also joined in serving elementary age kids (I LOVE them by the way. They are such a smart, sweet and hilarious group!)

Our church has some pretty amazing kid’s leaders. I learn so much just observing them interact with the kids each week. I believe with all my heart that kid’s ministry is one of the most important ministries in the church. I am continually humbled that God allows me to have a small part in working with these precious children and incredible leaders. I learn something new every time I work with these children.

Between my own children being a part of several kid’s ministries and working in a couple of areas myself, I have noticed a pattern.

Kids will want to come to your church if they feel loved when they are there.

(Or any kid’s related program for that matter).

This may be one of those “Duh!” moments for many of you. For me, it’s something I’ve realized over time. I had just never really thought much about it. I assumed the job of the kid’s ministry is to teach kids about God and His word. And that is definitely a major part of it. But it has to be more than that or I think we’ve missed the mark.

Let me try to explain what I mean.

As leaders, we create the environment that the kid’s walk in to.

We can create an environment where we teach with love and nurturing. Or we can create an environment where we have the attitude of “these kid’s are loud, I have a headache but so-and-so asked me to serve because no one else would do it and I just need to keep them alive until their parents come. And I guess I need to throw in a Bible story to make it legit.”

That last scenario sounds absolutely awful. Unfortunately, there are people that work in kid’s ministry that have that attitude. How do I know? People have literally said some of those very things to me and I have observed it with my own eyes. In a class that my own child attended. If that doesn’t turn a parent around in their tracks and make them never want to come back to your church, I have no idea what will.

After seeing this type of negative and unhealthy attitude, it made sense to me why my child never wanted to go. Now, thankfully… my child is involved in classes that he loves because he knows he’s loved. It has made a world of difference. For the record, I do believe these other teachers did love the kids. But they certainly didn’t show it very well.

When I walk in on Sunday mornings or Wednesday nights to work with the children. I have several goals. I absolutely want to teach them about Jesus. But one of my goals is this:

I want them to love coming to church.

Why is that a big deal? Sometimes kids are dragged to church, especially the older they get. Maybe it’s boring. Maybe they have no friends at church. I don’t know all the reasons. But if kids grow up loving church, I really think they just might stay in church later on in life.

A major reason that a child would love coming to church is because they know people there love them. They are safe, they are cared about and they are missed when they’re not there.

My earliest memories include memories of being at church. I never remember not liking it. I always wanted to go to church. I watched my parents serve in many different ministries at church and they taught me how to serve and care for others. But it was so much more than that. Why?

I felt loved at church. I felt safe. My teachers made me feel special.

I can’t control these kid’s home life. I have no idea what some of them deal with on a daily basis at school, at home, in their neighborhood, etc. Sometimes I get a peak into their lives when mom or dad pick them up or when they blurt out random things at random times. I can do very little about what happens when they walk out of the church doors. But I know that I have an hour or so each week to love on them as much as possible. Kids know when they are loved. Don’t we all? I have noticed it in my own children as well as others. They want to come to church when they know their teachers or leaders love them. If we create an environment of rules and bad attitudes and we think we are just babysitting… kids totally pick up on that. They will call our bluff.

My oldest is in preschool and it has been one of the biggest blessing to me as a parent. He loves it. His teacher this year is one of the best teachers I’ve ever seen. I have personally learned as much from her as my child has. Her interaction with the children and the parents starts as soon as we walk in the door. She creates the type of loving and caring environment that children can’t wait to walk in to.

My kid is usually the first one to arrive in his class each day. His teacher is literally standing at the door ready to greet us with a smile on her face. Now before you start with the argument that she gets paid to do this, it’s her job… yeah, I know. However, I have found that it does not matter whether someone is paid or is a volunteer… you can tell pretty quickly if they love what they do and if they want to be there or not. Am I right? Anyway, the teacher has her room ready with welcome activities and greets each student with a personal greeting. My child knows that his teacher is excited to see him, that she wants him there, she’s excited to teach him that day and she misses him when he’s not there. She greets us all by name, she asks how his weekend was, she comments on his new shirt and she asks him what he brought for snack that day. She sits around the table with them instead of standing against the wall with her arms crossed watching them play. She stops and answers their questions (even if she has to google the answer on her phone.) She gives me regular updates when I pick him up. My child is always making comments about how he can’t wait to tell her about this or that or that she is going to love hearing about so and so!

By watching this teacher in particular (and many others that are amazing too), I have learned how important these interactions are with children and their parents.

When I’m working with kid’s at my church now, I try to make it a point to greet each child personally. A high five, a hug or just a pat on the back. I let them know that I’m so glad they are there. That I missed them last week if they weren’t there. I ask them how their day was. I can’t do that for every single child, every single week, but I try. Kids deal with so much negativity these days. I want church to be somewhere they can come and have a  positive and encouraging experience. I’m not advocating letting them run wild. We can’t teach and they can’t learn if they are out of control. But too much of the harsh tones in our voices and talking down to them all the time does not create a very healthy or inviting environment. Engaging in conversation with them, sitting on the floor with them, looking at them in the eyes when they are speaking to you and really listening and responding to them makes such a big difference.

For me, this requires some preparation in advance. Before I even get to church, I am praying and planning to zone in to those kids and give them my full heart and attention. I have so much going on in my own life, my own home, with my own family. I do try to get there early and prepare not only the classroom, but my mind and heart. I want to be physically, mentally and emotionally ready when the first child walks in the door. That hour or so that I’m with those kids, it’s all about them and showing them God’s love the best I know how to do.

Sometimes it’s so easy to lose focus on the big picture. We think about the here and now. We get caught up in the day to day grind and rush here and there and do this and that. If we take a minute to stop and step back, we will realize we have an opportunity the speak into these kid’s lives for eternity.

We’re not “just babysitting.” We have been tasked with a huge responsibility and an incredible privilege. When we see it from that perspective, we will see the importance of making the most of every opportunity we have with children. We will want to love them, to listen to them and speak truth into their lives. We will prepare and work on creating an environment that kids will want to walk in to. And they will want to come back week after week to hear more about Jesus and how much he loves them. They will want to come to church because they know we love Jesus, and we love them too.